UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Nothing But Time

  

So within a stone's throw of Wudaokou, there lies an amazing Taiwanese import in the form of an upscale artisanal dessert/milk tea shop called Meet Fresh. They specialize in Taro and Sweet Potato mochi balls / Milk Tea / Shaved Ice. In short, its amazing and delicious. Now before you scoff and question the deliciousness of the concoction before you, know that it was with great effort that this drink even came into being. You're allowed to customize your drinks/dessert with the caveat that you know HOW to order what you want. 

The following conversation happened entirely and exclusively in Mandarin Chinese. 

MF EMPLOYEE: Welcome to Meet Fresh! 

ME: Hello

 (hmm she's unusually chipper) 

MF EMPLOYEE: Would you like to eat here or take out? 

ME: Take out please. 

MF EMPLOYEE: What would you like? 

ME: I don't mean to be a pain, but can I customize a drink? 

MF EMPLOYEE: Of course! If we have it you can add it! 

ME: (oh wow, really? and she's still really excited...that doesn't happen often) 

 I would like a green tea without milk or sugar. 

MF EMPLOYEE: No problem. A green tea sans milk and sugar. 

ME: Lets add tapioca pearls to that. 

MF EMPLOYEE: Adding tapioca pearls. 

ME: Lets add the mini artisinal taro mochi thingys. 

MF EMPLOYEE: Adding the mini artisinal taro and sweet potato mochi. 

ME: And lets add some flan/pudding to this as well. 

MF EMPLOYEE: We can't do that. 

ME: Huh? 

MF EMPLOYEE: We can't do that.  

ME: Do you not have the pudding? 

MF EMPLOYEE: We have the pudding. 

ME: So, i'd like to add the pudding. 

MF EMPLOYEE: We can't add the pudding. 

ME: But you said if you had it, we could add it. 

(and said with a lot of enthusiasm) 

MF EMPLOYEE: We can't add the pudding. 

ME: Why? 

MF EMPLOYEE: No. 

ME: I can pay more if there is a price difference. I want to add the pudding. 

(And now I'm starting to REALLY want the pudding since I can't have it)

MF EMPLOYEE: We don't sell it that way.

ME:  So I can't have a Green Tea with Tapioca Pearls, Mochi and Pudding. 

MF EMPLOYEE: Correct.

ME: Mmmmm.

(Hmph. So this is how we're going to have the do this huh? Fine. I'm going to get what I want, We can do this all day long lady. I've got nothing but time.) 

ME: Okay, lets start over. What if I ordered a pudding. 

MF EMPLOYEE:  One pudding it is. 

ME: Can we add taro mochi?  

MF EMPLOYEE: We should order the Taro Mochi with Pudding then. 

ME: Sure. Can we add Tapioca pearls to that? 

MF EMPLOYEE: Yes. 

ME: (Three for three.) Okay, now instead of the brown sugar simple syrup that you add to the pudding, can we add green tea? 

MF EMPLOYEE: Mmmmmm let me ask. 

ME: (please please please please please for the love of god let it be yes)

MF EMPLOYEE: Yes.

ME: OKAY!!!  So lets get a Taro Mochi with Pudding with Tapioca Pearls and iced green tea without milk or sugar! 

MF EMPLOYEE: That'll be 24RMB. 

**So the lesson to this story is that you CANNOT order : Green Tea with Taro Mochi, Tapioca Pearls and Pudding. But you CAN order : Taro Mochi with Pudding, Tapioca Pearls and Green Tea.  Are you still with me?**

Nothing but time.