UNDERCOVER EXPAT: OREO - China's Favorite Cookie. Seriously.

     

 This post is dedicated to my friend K-Balls. And obviously to Oreo's 100th birthday.

 For arguments sake, K-Balls' favorite cookie is the Oreo. Kraft/Nabisco has also branded it as America's favorite cookie. Well move aside K-Balls and America, Its CHINA's Favorite cookie, and with a population of over a billion people, its China for the win. 

Now, the Chinese (and Kraft for that matter) don't take this moniker lightly. Their Oreo game is beyond on point, with many other seemingly un-related products spawned from the humble chocolate and god only knows what flavor it actually is, white icing sandwich cookie. 

Obviously, the Centennial cookie flavor was heavily promoted here (birthday cake icing flavor with funfetti) and I would be lying if I said that i didn't have a few boxes of these special edition munchies stashed away in my room. ....

But the massive footprint of OREO is best seen in its bevy of products available to the Chinese market. Behold, this is the selection of Oreo products that take up one side of an entire aisle at the supermarket. 

Mango and Orange dual flavored Oreos; Green Tea Cheesecake and Peach flavored Oreos; Vanilla Ice Cream flavored oreos, Green Tea Ice Cream flavored oreos; Original Oreos, Cookies and Creme Oreos; Strawberries and Creme Oreos; Chocolate Oreos; Birthday Cake Oreos. All available in convenient single serving boxes, packs or family packs.

 And should get bored of the Oreo in its pedestrian sandwich cookie form, fear not, fret not, because you can also get it in Wafer Form as well as Cookie Straw Form. And your options don't end there, you can continue to customize by either choosing said wafer or cookie straw in "plain" or drizzed/dipped in additional chocolate/ganache/god only knows what.

 And of course, who could forget the Blueberry/Raspberry combination.

   K-Balls, the Oreo's alone are worth a visit. Have you bought your ticket yet?

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Weekend Libation Report

Lillet De Violette-Cucumber and Rose infused Gin, Creme De Violette, Lillet, and a twist of lime.

Fragrant and delicious with a splash of bitter.  My favorite combination. 

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Asian American - As Defined by Me.

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: 798, 419, 143... i love love love love you.

Okay, so like Liam Neeson's recent movies, Goldfish crackers and peanut butter, sometimes, things created for the masses just satisfy in the most gratifying way. No explanation needed.

This is how I feel about Beijing's 798 Arts District. No longer a a down and dirty, eclectic, scrappy enclave for up and coming artists, Its become more of a tourist attraction and dare I say "Trap". Yet, its managed to still retain its charm somehow. *Elle China agrees as they just thew a HUGE fashion show and party with mercedes benz last week.

While uber commercialized and teeming with tchotchke curio shops, I couldn't help but really really enjoy the outdoor public spaces.

*To not completely discredit the area entirely, there are still many galleries that curate wonderful exhibitions, UCCA probably being one of the largest and totally on par with MOCA.

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Uniqlo Non Sequitur

This is why I love Uniqlo.

Yesterday: April 14th, 2012 / 2:15pm

Uniqlo Employee: So here are your tee shirts, your reciept, your credit card, are you sure you want a medium? And these aren't returnable.

Me: What isn't returnable?

Uniqlo Employee: NEXT!

Me: Wait, the t-shirts aren't returnable? I'm pretty sure i'm a medium here in asia and..... you're not listening to me at all. oh well.


Today: April 15th, 2012 / 2:15pm

Me: Hi, I bought these yesterday, they're all mediums and apparently I need a large, I think I was told they aren't returnable, I'm pretty sure that's what the guy helping me was referencing but he was speaking really fast and I find myself constantly distracted here and didn't quite hear, is there anything we can do about this?

Uniqlo Employee: Um. Sorry but these aren't returnable and a medium really should be okay on you.

Me: ah, okay, so he did say that, you should tell him not to mumble so much, and I KNOW, you'd think a medium would be more than fine on me, but its really tight and not flattering. Trust me, it took a lot for me to come in and admit that I need a large. So... can I exchange these for a bigger size?

Uniqlo Employee: Sorry, these are special, you can't return these.

Me: Yes, I understand I can't return these, but can I Exchange them? Wait, why are these special?

Uniqlo Employee: Mmmm... let me call a manager.

Me: Why are these special? In what way? Hey, come back.

Uniqlo Manager: Hi, oh, you want to exchange these? For a bigger size? Sure.

Me: Really?

Uniqlo Manager: Sure, but you should probably buy that other style, they're less form fitting. Lets see, four of these tee shirts = 5 of those. Go for it. And buy a medium.

Me: Ah fantastic, I am a medium! But why were the first ones special?

Uniqlo Manager: You can find the other style around the corner by the graphic tee shirts. Just bring the ones you want back and they'll ring you up. (briskly walks away)

Me: Special....? What if I want the special ones? Oh well. Thanks!

*Take that "No Return" policy!

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: 北京 の 花見

The title of last friday's lesson in my textbook was: 春天到了! Appropriately translated into, Spring has arrived. While i'm coming to find that spring in Beijing equates to mad dust storms and a crazy pollen count, the number of blue sky days have been numerous and immensely enjoyable. After expressing that we wanted to spend more time outside, my friend's Chinese language partner told us to meet her at 8:30AM on Saturday morning for a surprise. I was thinking that's really almost too early for a surprise, but sure, i'm committed, especially if it involves being outside on a blue sky day. Please note that my friend's Chinese language partner is a lovely Chinese young lady from Hanzou who speaks nearly perfect Italian, goes by Carlotta, and doesn't speak much English. Awesome. Buongiorno! I go by Gabriel and my italian is non-existent.

Carlotta more than delivered on her promise of a surprise, because we arrived at a beautiful and rather large park, where there was already a long line formed to buy tickets for.... Sakura flower viewing!

Yes i understand that they are just cherry blossoms, but its so much deeper than that. Its actually quite luxurious because A) one needs cherry blossoms, lots and lots and lots of them. B) one needs to have the time to literally do nothing but wander and look at/appreciate the flowers. C) you bring a picnic and then EAT and do nothing but stare at the flowers. Thats the extent of your multi-tasking. BAM.

Look how BLUE the sky is!!!!

Looks a little bit like Central Park.....and note the girl with the insanely glossy hair blowing bubbles. It seemed that every vendor in the park sold cat ear head bands and bubbles. Bubbles everywhere all morning long, it was all very willy wonka-ish.


BLUE SKY!


And then there was randomly this very communist looking statue thing in the middle of the park. Oh Mao.

UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Reason #2,587 to not fly on an American carrier.

As a child, I adored commercial airplanes and flying. As an adult, I love food and kitchen/eating accoutrements. So... a history of loving commercial aviation + food and ornate eating accessories = I love airplane food. Sort of. Actually no, not really, not at all. HOWEVER, while its no secret that service and food on Asian airline carriers have consistently remained superior, compared to those on American carriers, my "snack" on the second leg of my flight on Japan Airlines was dare I say, beautiful and quite tasty. No easy feat at 30,000 feet in ECONOMY. Hooray for civilized flying!

*keep in mind that JAL filed for bankruptcy in 2010. American Airlines, start taking notes. Immediately.

Flight Attendant: Would you like a snack?
Me: Oh, sure.
Flight Attendant: Here is your bento, your miso soup, your green tea, your red wine, your packet of warm rice, and your ice cream.
Me: Ice cream?
Flight Attendant: Would you like some rice crackers?
Me: Uhhh, I don't think I have any more room on my tray.


From Left to Right, Top to Bottom: Packet of mushroom rice wrapped in paper, Grilled saba, Tsukune meatball, Yuba tofu with flying fish roe, Okra with simmered vegetables, Simmed Daikon radish, Deep fried tofu with egg and kamaboko, Picked Nozawana and some potato/tuna salad thingy. And of course the ice cream.

Friends who plan to visit, do yourself a favor and fly on either: JAL, ANA, Korean Airlines, Asiana or Cathay Pacific. The lay-over is worth it.

UNDERCOVER EXPAT

I look like them, I talk like them (sort of) but alas, due to the great Pacific Ocean, the Cultural Revolution, and my penchant for peanut butter, i'm not quite exactly like them. From hence forth, all posts will be originating from the middle kingdom and tagged "Undercover Expat" unless noted otherwise. So here is Modern China (Beijing at least) through my eyes.