UNDERCOVER EXPAT: Uniqlo Non Sequitur

This is why I love Uniqlo.

Yesterday: April 14th, 2012 / 2:15pm

Uniqlo Employee: So here are your tee shirts, your reciept, your credit card, are you sure you want a medium? And these aren't returnable.

Me: What isn't returnable?

Uniqlo Employee: NEXT!

Me: Wait, the t-shirts aren't returnable? I'm pretty sure i'm a medium here in asia and..... you're not listening to me at all. oh well.


Today: April 15th, 2012 / 2:15pm

Me: Hi, I bought these yesterday, they're all mediums and apparently I need a large, I think I was told they aren't returnable, I'm pretty sure that's what the guy helping me was referencing but he was speaking really fast and I find myself constantly distracted here and didn't quite hear, is there anything we can do about this?

Uniqlo Employee: Um. Sorry but these aren't returnable and a medium really should be okay on you.

Me: ah, okay, so he did say that, you should tell him not to mumble so much, and I KNOW, you'd think a medium would be more than fine on me, but its really tight and not flattering. Trust me, it took a lot for me to come in and admit that I need a large. So... can I exchange these for a bigger size?

Uniqlo Employee: Sorry, these are special, you can't return these.

Me: Yes, I understand I can't return these, but can I Exchange them? Wait, why are these special?

Uniqlo Employee: Mmmm... let me call a manager.

Me: Why are these special? In what way? Hey, come back.

Uniqlo Manager: Hi, oh, you want to exchange these? For a bigger size? Sure.

Me: Really?

Uniqlo Manager: Sure, but you should probably buy that other style, they're less form fitting. Lets see, four of these tee shirts = 5 of those. Go for it. And buy a medium.

Me: Ah fantastic, I am a medium! But why were the first ones special?

Uniqlo Manager: You can find the other style around the corner by the graphic tee shirts. Just bring the ones you want back and they'll ring you up. (briskly walks away)

Me: Special....? What if I want the special ones? Oh well. Thanks!

*Take that "No Return" policy!